Tag Archives: depression

I am hungry – Why?

Posted on November 2, 2014 by Melissa Killeen
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Melissa Killeen

Hunger can be a physical or emotional need. Understanding the need to eat is fairly straightforward. Meeting nutritional needs allows our bodies to operate to the highest potential, and will keep us feeling better. So to ease your hunger, it is advised not to turn to destructive habits, substances or negative people. This will not fill the physical or emotional emptiness that you’re feeling. Instead, find something wholesome to eat or talk to a good friend or loved one.

Maybe if we look into to why we are hungry, it can help us tease out these feelings. Feelings are, for a recovering person, very difficult to identify and challenging to discern. When we use the recovery tool known as HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, and tired) to assess our situation, we may see that being hungry is more physical and less emotional. Maybe being hungry is bringing up your emotional need for something else? Or maybe hunger comes from the physical triggers that we will explore more in this blog.

Some reasons that you are hungry

So, it’s 3:00, past lunch yet many hours before dinner, and you are hungry. All you can think about is the next time you get to eat and what you are going to eat.  It’s all you can do not to scarf down whatever is in the nearest vending machine. But what gives? You ate a good lunch, why are you ravenous now? Turns out, our brains and bodies are frequently conspiring to trick us into thinking it’s time to eat when it really isn’t.

I bet you didn’t sleep enough last night. Ever notice your grumbling stomach is a bit louder on the days after a fitful night’s sleep? That’s because too little sleep has been linked to higher levels of the hormone ghrelin, which is responsible for triggering hunger. This recent study from Northwestern University showed that people who regularly stay up late are also more likely to eat unhealthier food, weigh more and eat more during the evening, compared with people who go to bed early. And to make matters worse, when you’re sleep deprived, you’ll usually crave carbohydrates, and calorie-laden foods, as your body searches for alternate sources of energy. Researchers at the University of Chicago think this could be a clue as to why people who regularly get too little sleep are at a greater risk of obesity.

You had dinner at your Mother’s last night and ate too much. Science doesn’t have a completely fool-proof explanation for this sensation yet, (of eating too much, not the sensation of eating at Mom’s) but there’s no denying that you are hungrier in the morning after going to bed stuffed to the gills. Contrary to common belief, it’s not that your stomach is stretched out, but more likely a result of the type of foods you overindulged in. If you overdid it on starches, you could have triggered dramatic changes in your blood sugar that trick the brain into thinking you’re still not full. I believe that this phenomenon is the reason why we will eat cold pizza for breakfast after a night a watching the World Series and downing four other pizzas, chips and soda.

You’re pre-menstrual. Guys, you are off the hook here. But many women intuitively know this, and now there is proof to back up those thoughts that PMS is really the reason you ate the whole container of Ben and Jerry’s. During the pre-menstrual phase, progesterone production increases. This increased hormone production boosts your appetite but also increases your general malaise about your body in general, as if you weren’t already emotional enough.

You could have had granola instead of Pop Tarts. The most important meal of the day is breakfast. It is also the one that is most under pressure to be eaten dashing out the door, while driving in the car or standing at the bus stop. Eating the wrong thing for breakfast can throw off an entire day. A 2013 study suggested that one of the most important breakfast component is protein. A serving in the range of 300-400 calories of fruit, plain yogurt, eggs and yes, even a turkey sausage or bacon is an ideal breakfast. In this study, people who ate high-protein breakfasts were less likely to reach for fatty, sugary foods later in the day. You might also be getting too little fiber or fat, both of which help keep you full. As many as 31 million people in the U.S. skip breakfast each day, with men ages 18 to 34 leading the pack. So that is why so many people join you in the break room at 3pm.

Some medication’s side effects include weight gain. In the last 20 years, the number of meds with weight gain side effects has increased from one in 10 to one in four.  The drugs you should be concerned about are drugs for chronic diseases, like diabetes and psychiatric problems, because you may have to be using these drugs for a long time. Even innocuous meds like over-the-counter sleep aids can cause weight gain by slowing your metabolism, or by altering the hormones in your body that control your appetite. If you use a drug for chronic conditions that require life-long treatment, experts suggest discussing your medication with your doctor. There could be a similar drug without the weight gain side effect.

You are hooked on diet soda. A zero-calorie sweet drink sends a message to the brain that calories are on their way. Then, no calories are actually delivered, this triggers the brain to send out hunger pangs to compensate for that bait-and-switch. More research is being completed on this, so in the meantime, it’s probably a good idea to cut out or at least cut back on artificially-sweetened pop.

Open a bottle of water, you’re actually just thirsty.A little mild dehydration can give you a sluggish, fatigued feeling and, just like when you’re sleep deprived, the body often turns to calories for fuel. That means, when you experience what you think is hunger, it’s really thirst. Weight-loss experts often suggest drinking a glass of water and then waiting a few minutes before giving in to the craving for something to eat.

You are on a tele-conference call and you’re bored. Dopamine is a chemical messenger in the brain linked with motivation, stimulation and reward. Dopamine makes us feel good about eating, so we don’t forget to do it, which is not exactly a problem for most of us! So, in the absence of more stimulating fare, like drugs, alcohol, sex, or internet gaming, the handy dopamine neuron-stimulating electrode in our brain triggers a lever whenever we fancy a thrill, like during a telephone conference call, and the food starts calling to us.

You’re emotionally impaired, angry or stressed. Yes, there’s a biological reason for emotional eating, too. Think fight or flight. Our natural stress response is technically an evolutionary tactic to help us avoid becoming someone else’s dinner. In the face of stress, hearts race, muscles fire – all to give us the ability to run away or be eaten. Once we are safe, our body relaxes and our brain sends messages to refuel and replenish for the next harrowing experience. So stress activates a couple of brain systems to increase appetite. It seems to trigger cravings for sugary or fatty foods, and a flight to the corporate cafeteria before they close.

So what can a person do to avoid the constant and dreaded desire to eat when they are not really hungry?

Of course, the most obvious advice is to avoid it in the first place: drink water, avoid stress, chose foods that will keep you full longer, avoid carbs, and eat foods that are high in volume and low in calories, like leafy greens, which are also full of protein and fiber. Beyond that, all you can do is some damage control: eat a sensible, filling breakfast (oatmeal, granola egg-veggie scrambles!), walk around the office, straighten the copy area, talk to your colleagues, and know that the hunger will pass.

Next week’s blog will focus on making decisions when you are hungry and what the research says.

This blog was based on the following research:

Sleep Deprivation Could Increase Hunger, What a Study Suggests. (7/10/12 ) Huffington Post. See more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/10/sleep-hunger-deprivation-_n_1659954.html

Night Owls at Risk for Weight Gain, People who go to bed late and sleep late eat more fast food and weigh more, (5. 4. 2011) Marla Paul, Northwestern University web site – See more at: http://www.northwestern.edu/newscenter/stories/2011/05/night-owls-weight-gain.html

Why Am I Hungry After A Big Meal? (7.18.2012) Meredith Melnick, Huffington Post. See more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/16/why-am-i-hungry_n_1677364.html

Differential associations between ovarian hormones and disordered eating symptoms across the menstrual cycle in women, (6. 07. 2011), Sarah E. Racine MA, Kristen M. Culbert MA, Pamela K. Keel PhD, Cheryl L. Sisk PhD, S. Alexandra Burt PhD and Kelly L. Klump PhD. Article first published online: 7 JUN 2011, International Journal of Eating Disorders. Volume 45, Issue 3, pages 333–344, April 2012, Wiley Online Library. See more at: http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/eat.20941/full 

31 Million Americans Skip Breakfast Each Day (10.11.10). Huffington Post. See more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/11/31-million-americans-skip_n_1005076.html

Why We’re Saying ‘No Thanks’ To Diet Soda, (7.24.2013), Amanda L. Chan, Huffington Post. See more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/24/diet-soda-health-risks_n_3606906.html

The Mayo Clinic Web Site, De Hydration definition, 2014, Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, see more at: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dehydration/basics/symptoms/con-20030056

 Do You Eat Out of Boredom? The biology of boredom eating…and how to beat it.(12.4. 2011), Psychology Today. See more at: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/bad-appetite/201112/do-you-eat-out-boredom

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I am lonely — Part Three

Posted on October 24, 2014 by Melissa Killeen
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Melissa Killeen

What Can I Do?
John Cacioppo author and researcher on loneliness, offers a few tips on how to overcome being lonely:

Recognize that loneliness is a sign that something needs to change. Notice your self-deflating thoughts. We often create self-centered stories to explain our feelings when we are young, it is not unusual for children to assume that there is something wrong with them if they are not happy. If they are lonely and sad, children may assume other people don’t like them. You are not five any more, you can address loneliness as an adult.

Realize that loneliness is a feeling, not a fact. Habitual assumptions about negative social status continue into adulthood and if you are looking for evidence that the world sucks, you can always find it.When you are feeling lonely, it is because something has triggered a memory of that feeling, not because you are in fact, isolated and alone. The brain is designed to pay attention to pain and danger, and that includes triggering painful scary feelings. Many times these triggering scary memories create lonely feelings.

But then the brain tries to make sense of the feeling. Why am I feeling this way? Is it because nobody loves me? Because I am a loser? Because everyone else is mean? Theories about why you are feeling lonely can become confused with facts. Then it becomes a bigger problem, so just realize that you are having this feeling as temporary and not to overreact.

Make a plan. If you realize you are dealing with an emotional habit, you can make a plan to deal with loneliness. Since healthy interaction with friends is good, make some effort to reach out to others, to initiate conversation and face time even when your loneliness and depression are telling you not to. Yes, it is work, but it is worthwhile, just like exercising is good. Reach out because loneliness is painful and can confuse you into thinking that you are a loser, an outcast or less than. You might react by withdrawing into yourself, your thoughts, and your lonely feelings, and this is not helpful. At its best, anticipation of loneliness might motivate us to reach out and cultivate friendships, which is the healthiest thing to do if you are sad and alone. When you are a child, and your sadness causes you to cry, you may evoke a comforting response from others. If you’re an adult, crying about your isolating life style rarely receives a positive response.

Understand the effects that loneliness has on your life, both physically and mentally. Morbidity among lonely people is increased by 45%. Loneliness is associated with depression and anxiety. Loneliness effects your heart, your immune system and increases the likelihood of Alzheimer’s disease. What to do? Embrace a healthy lifestyle, eat right, exercise every day, develop an awareness of wellness, visit your dentist, get that mammogram, start taking care of yourself and at the same time you will be combating loneliness.

Consider doing community service or another activity that you enjoy. Volunteer for a good cause. You don’t have to worry about interacting with people, you all have something in common, because you are all doing something good.You have the power to offer loving kindness and generosity of spirit to all with whom you come into contact. These situations present great opportunities to meet people and cultivate new friendships and social interactions.Focus on the needs and feelings of others, and less attention on your own lonely thoughts and feelings. You can walk down the street thinking about your loneliness and the hopelessness of it all, staring at the sidewalk or your cell phone. Or you can walk down that same street grateful for the diversity of people you get to share the sidewalk with, silently wishing them good health and good fortune, and smiling at each person you pass. The latter is more fun. Be persistent even if a particular group  seems to be not a good fit for you. Just try another group! AA, NA and Al Anon recommend that you try six different meetings to find one that suits you best. If you are persistent, challenging the not good enough assumptions, quelling the feelings that tell you to give up and shutting off the old tapes that tell you to resign yourself to a life of a troll, you can emerge from isolation by just showing up! By being curious, adventurous and kind to others in groups, you can squash your loneliness.

Focus on developing quality relationships with people who share similar attitudes, interests and values with you. Find others like you. Nowadays there are more tools than ever before for finding out where the knitters, hikers or computer code writers are congregating through meet-up sites advertised on the Internet. This makes it much easier to identify groups with ideas similar to yours. At the activities, you don’t have to tell jokes like a stand up comic or run for president of the knitter’s society at your first meeting. But you do have to show up. Remember, always show up when meeting with others. No shows make people doubt your reliability, and then they do not invite you to participate again because of your past record of not showing up. Therefore as a result of having no invitations to go places,  you feel more isolated. This is the vicious circle of loneliness. So, show up!

Be curious, but don’t expect perfection or applause. Each time you show up, it is an experiment, a micro adventure in social bonding. If you are curious about and interested in others, they will be attracted to you because you are giving them attention. So you will get attention in return. Curiosity about others also takes your focus away from those painful feelings that tend to make you hide and sulk. Kindness and curiosity goes a long way.

Develop one good intimate friend. And once you have a friend or two, nourish those friendships with time and attention. Don’t be too analytical about whether you are giving more than you are getting. If you make more friends and some of them are takers, you can choose to spend more time with the other friends who give and reward your friendship.

And finally,

Expect the best. Lonely people often expect rejection, so instead, focus on positive thoughts and attitudes in your social relationships.

Research gathered for this post came from:

Daniel Askt, (2008, Sept. 21). A talk with John Cacioppo: A Chicago scientist suggests that loneliness is a threat to your health. The Boston Globe Found online at http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2008/09/21/a_talk_with_john_cacioppo/

Cacioppo, J. T., Fowler, J. H., & Christakis, N. A. (in press). Alone in the crowd: The structure and spread of loneliness in a large social network. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

Cacioppo, J. (2008, Nov. 3). John Cacioppo on How to Cope with Loneliness. Big Think. Found online at http://bigthink.com/johncacioppo/john-cacioppo-on-how-to-cope-with-loneliness

Cacioppo, et al. (2009). What Are the Brain Mechanisms on Which Psychological Processes Are Based? Perspectives on Psychological Science, 4 (1): 10 DOI: 10.1111/j.1745-6924.2009.01094.x

Loneliness affects how the brain operates. (2009, Feb. 19). Science Daily Found online at http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/02/090215151800.htm

Shute, N. (2008, Nov. 12). Why loneliness is bad for your health. U.S. News and World Report. Found online at http://health.usnews.com/articles/health/2008/11/12/why-loneliness-is-bad-for-your-health.html

You Tube TED talk with John Cacioppo, accessed at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0hxl03JoA0.

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I am lonely — Part Two

Posted on October 17, 2014 by Melissa Killeen
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Melissa Killeen

The Research on Loneliness

Have you ever been all alone at a party? Are you perfectly content sitting home reading a book or watching Hulu? Even though you secretly hate sitting at home watching Hulu? Do you have a need to fill the hole in your heart with anybody, or any substance and to take away the feeling created by that empty place? Even if that body or substance is not good for you? Lonely adults consume more alcohol and get less exercise than those who are not lonely. Are you one of them?

Loneliness is a complex mental phenomenon that has at its base a powerful emotion, the building of which begins in childhood, and is a survival mechanism linked to Bowlby’s attachment theory. Research completed by Robert S. Weiss (1973) defines loneliness as a social, as well as, an emotional phenomenon. All of us have experienced some degree of it, if only for a short time, and remember the painful feeling that goes along with it.

Whenever we are reminded of this feeling or anticipate it, we get a twinge of distress that can be linked with a feeling of abandonment we perhaps experienced in our youth. This is what we experience as loneliness, but it is so much more. This feeling can occur at a party, in the classroom or even after making love. It can be pretty confusing and can pull you into a downward spiral, if you don’t know what’s going on.

Research on loneliness is relatively new. John Bowlby did a lot of loneliness research when working on his attachment theory in the 1970s. Robert S. Weiss distinguished between social loneliness, (people who are considered introverts could be socially lonely) and emotional loneliness (people who are emotionally lonely may not have had a firm and reliable care-giving figure early in their childhood development).

People who are socially lonely have certain personality traits that inhibit the formation of social relationships. These traits might take the form of an individual more self-focused or unable to pay a lot of attention to their partner. For women, these traits present as lonely ladies who do not disclose their intimate feelings to their female friends, and for men, these traits present as less participation in group activities like softball or even playing chess with a friend. Personality research has shown that depression, shyness, and low self-esteem are linked to loneliness.

Another approach to loneliness is the perception that loneliness is not good. Being lonely is less satisfying than other feelings, like joy. It is perceived as never ending or a permanent state of being. You should not be lonely, no matter what. It is also perceived that there is an ideal social relationship and a not so ideal social interaction. The not so ideal social interactions create loneliness.

There is research that suggests loneliness is hereditary. According to research by John Cacioppo, a University of Chicago psychologist and a top loneliness expert, loneliness is strongly connected to genetics.

Nonetheless, whether social, emotional or perceived, loneliness can be measured. The most frequently used assessment is the 1996 UCLA Loneliness Scale created by Daniel W. Russell. Research based on those individuals taking this assessment is quite interesting.

Lonely feelings are more prevalent in adolescents and young adults (16-25) and very old individuals (80 plus years of age). As a parent, I look back on my son’s constant retort, “I’m bored.” After reading this research, I wonder if he could possibly have been unable to articulate that he was lonely. Of course, numerous 80-year-old respondents were in retirement or assisted-living communities when participating in this research. And many of these oldest adults didn’t have the level of social interaction they had when they were young. Doesn’t it make you want to go bring Grandma home for Thanksgiving dinner?

Overall, women report slightly greater feelings of loneliness than men. I wasn’t surprised by that finding. As researchers drill down into the demographics, they discovered non-married men are lonelier than non-married women. Marriage is well known as protection against loneliness, which is greater in those that are divorced or never married.  African Americans of both genders tend to be lonelier than Caucasians. Yet, African American women are less lonely than Latina or Caucasian women. Based on a university study, it was found that college-aged Asian students were more lonely than their peers. Following along the lines of educational success, it was determined that the attainment of a high school diploma protects the population against loneliness, possibly indicating the enhancing benefit of the higher social status and self-esteem associated with this accomplishment. Employment is another factor illuminating loneliness. Retirement and unemployment represent a loss of social contact, so both groups experience feelings of loneliness greater than those that are still employed. Participation in a religious organization has also been identified as yet another protection against loneliness.

Let’s get back to Grandma in the nursing home. Negative health factors increase with a higher level of loneliness. Sensory impairment, such as hearing loss, significantly contributes as well, because it impairs an individual’s ability to participate in conversations. Impaired mobility (walking) is also a contributor to loneliness, limiting the access and the desire to venture out to seek social interaction. Once loneliness takes a foothold in the individual, it makes a mountain out of a molehill. Those who are lonely react more intensely to negative situations, and they experience fewer uplifting feelings from positive events. Even if there is success by a loved one or a friend in delivering nurturing support, a lonely 85-year-old woman may perceive any exchange as less fulfilling. Using fMRI scans of a lonely person’s brain show they derive less pleasure from pleasing social interactions. Not only do the lonely contribute to their own negativity, others view them as negative and begin to pull away as a way to avoid negative situations. All of this confirms to the lonely that their interpretation of a negative social interaction is true, that social interactions will be consistently threatening and that changing those interactions is beyond their control.

Loneliness is an added stress to the individual’s life. Perceiving stress as a growth and motivational opportunity is a start. Responding to going out and engaging with business colleagues can be looked at optimistically instead of with pessimism and avoidance. Thinking that anything is better than watching Hulu again tonight is an optimistic view of having an interaction with colleagues. The lonelier someone is, the less successful they are in dealing with stressors. Oftentimes the lonely withdraw and often they quit trying altogether. Not a good reaction to completing a work deadline or when trying to advance in your career.

The lonely have higher systolic blood pressure and a higher body mass index than non-lonely people, which affects their heart health. Older lonely people have more differences in the hormonal production of the hypothalamus, the pituitary and the adrenal glands than people their own age who are not lonely. This can negatively affect their autoimmune system. Research has shown that people with loneliness experience non-restorative sleep (sleep that is non-refreshing despite an 8-hour normal sleep time). The risk of Alzheimer’s disease is twice more likely to appear in a lonely person than in non-lonely individuals. Living with loneliness can increase the likeliness of an early death by 45%.

So, what can a lonely person do, not to mention a friend or family member of a lonely person? More will be revealed in my next post.

Research gathered for this blog post came from Loneliness, a paper written by John T. Cacioppo and Louise C. Hawkley, from the Chicago Center of Cognitive and Social Neuroscience, at the University of Chicago. This research was supported by the National Institute on Aging and the Templeton Foundation. John Cacioppo is also the co-author of the book Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection. Further reference material was drawn from Robert S Weiss’s book Loneliness: The experience of emotional and social isolation, published in 1973 at MIT Press, in Cambridge MA, and the 1996 UCLA Loneliness Scale created by Daniel W Russell. The You Tube TED talk with John Cacioppo, is accessed at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0hxl03JoA0.

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