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The Top Ten Warning Signs You Are Talking to an Online Catfisher-Part 4

Posted on July 21, 2016 by Melissa Killeen

 innocence-en-dangerHow can you protect yourself from a Catfisher or an online predator?

Why do they do what they do? Catfishers want something from you. These are people that are not motivated by love, but are driven by money, perverse sexual desires and criminal intent.

  • Money is usually the first thing predators want from adult contacts
  • They want to win you over and manipulate you, so you begin to desire them in a sexual way and that means you will begin to trust them
  • They will use your photographs and distribute them to other online predators, they will re-post the pictures online in sexual forums or just enjoy your photographs themselves, privately
  • They want to have conversations with you, texting or otherwise, in order to get sexually aroused during the conversation
  • Any of the above contacts will enable these predators to black-mail, extort or rape you

Scary Stats

There are some scary statistics on Catfishers or online predators.

  • An estimated 725,000 people are aggressively pursued online for sex or extortion annually in the US
  • In 2005 alone, 25% percent of rapists used online dating sites to find their victims
  • In 2011, the FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center lodged 5,600 complaints from victims of “romance scams” or “catfishers”
  • Reports say victims of these romance scams have lost over fifty million dollars—however authorities know this figure is much higher because many victims are too embarrassed to report the incidents
  • Every 2 minutes a person in America is sexually assaulted
  • 1 out of 4 children in the U.S. have been sent pictures of people who were naked or having sex by an online predator
  • Each year Internet predators commit over 16,000 abductions, over 100 murders, and thousands of rapes
  • Over 39,000 verified Registered Sex Offenders have profiles on social media sites
  • 1 out of 5 kids have been solicited for sex on the Internet
  • 1 out of 4 kids have been contacted online by a person not representing themselves in a true or accurate way
  • Only 25% of kids tell parents or adults about any online encounters
  • 77% of the time, the targets for online predators are usually in the 11-14 year-old-age range
  • 25% of children that were surveyed were exposed to unwanted pornographic material

Dating Safety Tips

Online dating often leads to offline dates, which may end up as a successful relationship. However, before you meet someone in person, take all the time you need to get well-acquainted with this person, so there is hopefully nothing to worry about when you meet face-to-face. Sexual assault on a date is definitely not an everyday occurrence, nonetheless, you need to ensure your personal safety when planning to meet someone for a first date. Take the time to really get to know a person and dangerous incidents are less likely to occur.

The predators need to be exposed, if you or anyone you know has been contacted by an online predator or has received unwanted solicitation from someone online, call the police and notify the social networking site on which the contact was made.

  • NEVER give out your personal information or home address online, even giving out the town you live in can reveal too much information to a predator
  • Don’t reply to social media messages from people you don’t know
  • NEVER meet face-to-face with someone you have just met online, give yourself and the contact at least 3 weeks to get to know each other before a face-to-face is planned
  • Never download image files from an unknown source, they could contain sexually explicit images that could put you in a compromising legal situation
  • Avoid chat rooms or discussion forums that are sexually proactive
  • If you receive uncomfortable or frightening material, end the communication, block the person from contacting you and report them to the dating site or the social networking site
  • If you receive an unwanted solicitation call 911, contact the dating site or the social networking site and report the perpetrator immediately

Sexual assault and date rape are definitely not common occurrences when meeting an online date. Read and follow the safety advice for first date meetings that have been outlined on your online dating site, so you are well-prepared. In addition, here are some of tips that will be useful too.

  • Always take the time to get well-acquainted with someone before you plan a meeting. Talking to this person online or on the phone for three weeks is a good amount of time to ensure this person is safe to meet
  • Bookend the date, which means you notify a friend where the date is, whom the date is with and when the date starts and then again, contact the same friend when you leave the date, to ensure you are home and are safe
  • Meet in a public place, like a restaurant, coffee shop, and drive your own car or know the public transportation schedule in order to leave to catch the last bus. At no time should this first date drive you home
  • While on the date, always be very aware of your surroundings. Keep an eye on your drink at all times. Date rape drugs are very easy to drop into any drink. Drinking coffee with a lid on the cup is probably your best defense against this kind of occurrence
  • Getting a girl drunk is a common ploy for a predator, so watch how much alcohol you drink. In fact, many online dating site guidelines do not recommend going to a bar or having a drink on the first date
  • Be cautious during your first few meetings with this person. Have the dates in open public places and stay away from dark and deserted situations
  • Never go to this person’s home or to a hotel until months into your dating experience

What do you do if you have been assaulted?

If you believe you may be a victim of sexual assault, the first thing you should do is immediately contact the police and report the crime, no matter how small you might think the crime is. It is common for victims to blame themselves in a case of assault, however you must always remember that this predator had absolutely no justification to attack you. It is also very important to protect your health, go to the hospital and request to have a sexual assault forensic exam, the staff will administer some tests that are compiled into what is sometimes known as a “rape kit.” These exams will preserve possible DNA evidence and you will receive important medical care. You don’t have to report the crime to have this exam, but the process gives you the chance to safely store evidence, should you decide to report the crime at a later time.

  • If you feel you cannot handle going to the hospital alone, try asking an understanding family member or friend to escort you to the hospital.
  • If necessary, you can also speak with a rape hotline operator, an experienced therapist or social worker who can help you deal with it. For more information, reference the local hotlines and services that are featured below
  • If you choose not to have a sexual assault forensic exam, it is also a good idea to to go to a clinic or to see a doctor who can test you for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)
  • To find a location near you that performs sexual assault forensic exams, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (656-4673) or talk to your local sexual assault service provider

Here are some National Resources for Victims of a Catfisher

General Information:

Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3)                             https://www.ic3.gov/                                                                                                           A partnership between the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and the National White Collar Crime Center (NW3C).

National Sexual Assault Hotline: National hotline, operated by RAINN, that serves people affected by sexual violence. It automatically routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search your local center here. Hotline: 800.656.HOPE (656-4673)

National Sexual Violence Resource Center: This site offers a wide variety of information relating to sexual violence including a large legal resource library.

National Organization for Victim Assistance: Founded in 1975, NOVA is the oldest national victim assistance organization of its type in the United States as the recognized leader in this noble cause.

National Online Resource Center on Violence Against Women: VAWnet, a project of the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence hosts a resource library home of thousands of materials on violence against women and related issues, with particular attention to its intersections with various forms of oppression.

U.S. Department of Justice: National Sex Offender Public Website: NSOPW is the only U.S. government Website that links public state, territorial, and tribal sex offender registries from one national search site.

The National Center for Victims of Crime: The mission of the National Center for Victims of Crime is to forge a national commitment to help victims of crime rebuild their lives. They are dedicated to serving individuals, families, and communities harmed by crime.

Child Abuse/Sexual Abuse:

National Child Abuse Hotline: They can provide local referrals for services. A centralized call center provides the caller with the option of talking to a counselor. They are also connected to a language line that can provide service in over 140 languages. Hotline: 800.4.A.CHILD (800-422-2253)

Darkness to Light: They provide crisis intervention and referral services to children or people affected by sexual abuse of children. Hotline calls are automatically routed to a local center. Helpline: 866.FOR.LIGHT (367.5444)

Cyber Tip Line: This Tipline is operated by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Can be used to communicate information to the authorities about child pornography or child sex trafficking. Hotline: 800.THE.LOST (800-843-5678)

National Children’s Alliance: This organization represents the national network of Child Advocacy Centers (CAC). CACs are a multidisciplinary team of law enforcement, mental and physical health practitioners who investigate instances of child physical and sexual abuse. Their website explains the process and has a directory according to geographic location.

Stop It Now: Provides information to victims and parents/relatives/friends of child sexual abuse. The site also has resources for offender treatment as well as information on recognizing the signs of child sexual abuse. Hotline: 888-PREVENT (888-773-8368)

Justice for Children: Provides a full range of advocacy services for abused and neglected children.

Domestic, Dating and Intimate Partner Violence:

National Domestic Violence Hotline: Through this hotline an advocate can provide local direct service resources (safe-house shelters, transportation, casework assistance) and crisis intervention. Interpreter services available in 170 languages. They also partner with the Abused Deaf Women’s Advocacy Center to provide a videophone option. Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (800-799-7233)

National Teen Dating Abuse Online Helpline: This online helpline assists teens who are, or may be, in abusive relationships. Call 1-866-331-9474, chat at loveisrespect.org or text “loveis” to 22522, any time, 24/7/365

Americans Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Center: The center serves abused Americans, mostly women and children, in both civilian and military populations overseas. In addition to providing domestic violence advocacy, safety planning and case management, the center assists victims with relocation, emergency funds for housing and childcare, and funds for payment of legal fees. International & Toll-Free 866-USWOMEN (866- 879-6636) (Available 24/7/365)

National Coalition against Domestic Violence: The national coalition of Domestic Violence organizations is dedicated to empowering victims and changing society to a zero tolerance policy. Call the Nat’l #DomesticViolence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (799-7233) if you or someone you love is a victim and needs help

Incest:

(See also resources on Child Abuse/ Sexual Abuse above)

Survivors of Incest Anonymous: They provide information on how to find incest survivor support groups in your area and empowers individuals to become survivors and thrivers.

GirlThrive: Girlthrive Inc. honors teen girls and young women who have survived incest and all sex abuse through thriverships, opportunity and education.

Stalking

Stalking Resource Center: The Stalking Resource Center is a program of the National Center for Victims of Crime. Their website provides statistics on stalking, information on safety planning and other resources.

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The Top Ten Warning Signs You Are Talking to an Online Catfisher, Scammer, Scallawag or Con—Part 3

Posted on July 14, 2016 by Melissa Killeen

20150609_223702 (2)Are you talking to someone on line? Do you trust them? Could they be a catfisher, a scammer, a scallawag or a con?

Last week I outlined some typical characteristics and warning signs of interacting with an online scammer. I will continue outlining Tyler Cohen Wood’s indicators that the person you are speaking to online may be a catfisher.

Ms. Wood is a Cyber Branch Chief for an Intelligence Agency within the Department of Defense (DoD). She is the author of the book, Catching the Catfishers: Disarm the Online Pretenders, Predators and Perpetrators Who Are Out to Ruin Your Life. Here are some more indicators you should be aware of when you are using an online dating service:

  1. Do their stories match up? Complete a reference check!

If someone is pretending to be someone they’re not, they may have a difficult time keeping up with their fake persona. Colleges are the easiest reference to check. Call the alumni office to verify whether this person is in the alumni directory. When I wanted to check on one individual, I emailed his LinkedIn colleagues, and asked if they know “this person,” yes, I really did!  One scammer was so bold he had me speak with his daughter who was home visiting from college, and when I asked her how Boulder was, she blanked. She was supposedly attending the University of Colorado.

  1. Check the times of the calls. By the way, how is their spelling or their command of the English language?

I have been contacted by many international catfishers, and for some reason, they will never call between 12:00am and 6:00am Sri Lanka time (2pm EST-8pm EST). We all make silly spelling mistakes, but if the person you are communicating with uses strange grammar and continuously makes odd spelling mistakes, maybe these writings are all coming from Google Translation, so proceed with caution.

  1. You will receive everything you would want to hear from a Prince Charming

“You are so beautiful,” “I think you are someone special,” “I love you” or you receive a marriage proposal, sometimes all within the first twenty-four hours of meeting this person online. Need I say red flag to this one?

  1. In the first few days, are the communications hot and heavy with frequent emails, texting and contact? What happens next?

My experience with scammers is that it takes five to seven days of hot and heavy intrigue, seduction, in pursuit of the development of trust. Then it is time for the “ask.” Some catfishers may take up to a month and work it very slow, all during which time, red flags are still appearing. Usually this period of time is accompanied by the building up of the “story.” This story could be a “colossal break,” a deal so big they can retire on it, or they are working on the opportunity of a lifetime. Once they know they have your trust, there then follows a disaster. A partner pulls out of the deal, leaving the scammer high and dry. Or they need to fly to Europe immediately, and they need some cash to finalize the deal. They may need large amounts of cash to be sent in order to complete business obligations. They need to bribe corrupt local officials, or they may have been “robbed” and lost all of their belongings. Just about any story will do, and it is usually a large amount of money that will satisfy them. What is totally amazing is that if you say no, it will not stop the scammer from asking again and again.

There are a great variety of scripts scammers use to ask for money. The first step is appearing on a dating or social media site with a fake profile and credentials. Some scripts, or roles, these scammers use will portray them as an American soldier stationed overseas, a businessman from the United States who spends the majority of his time traveling internationally, or the entrepreneur who has the biggest international deal of a lifetime knocking at his door, usually involving oil, diamonds or gold.

Catfishers follow similar scripts in regard to the role of their family members. The scammer is often a widower, spending too many years grieving for the dead partner, and you are the first person that really “gets” him. There are always kids, all very smart, but they are studying abroad. There are also possessions, more than one house, vacation timeshares, and an antique sports car. All plenty of stuff to check online, but there isn’t any record online, so beware!!

Most important to remember, is never give them money. Once the money is transferred, the scammer simply disappears, leaving you with a broken heart and an empty bank account. There is little chance of prosecution or recovery since these scammers are often located in other countries.

Of course, not everyone is out to scam you. There are plenty of legitimate individuals seeking a partner on these dating sites.  The intention of this post is not to make you paranoid. Ultimately, if you’re doubting this situation – you’re most likely right. If you encounter some of the scenarios and warning signs I have listed above, end the relationship immediately, never arrange a date and never, ever give this person any money. Be the fish that got away.

Next week, I will discuss ways that you can protect yourself from online predators.

 

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Is Recovery Coaching Effective?

Posted on June 2, 2016 by Melissa Killeen

20150609_223702 (2)Treatment professionals and researchers are calling for a change in the treatment model for substance use disorders (SUD). This change calls for shedding the acute care model (28 days of SUD treatment will fix you) to a continuum of care models, similar to how chronic diseases like diabetes or arthritis are treated. (Humphreys & Tucker, 2002; Institute of Medicine, 2005; McLellan et al., 2000; White, Boyle, Loveland, & Corrington, 2005).

At the same time, the mental health and the substance abuse treatment fields have merged, creating the behavioral health field. With this merger, the recovery-oriented systems of care model (ROSC) has become the accepted approach to treatment for those with mental and substance use disorders. This holistic approach, rather than focusing on the addiction, considers the whole person and how they interact in real life. ROSC emphasizes that recovery depends on the connection of mind, body, and spirit, motivating addicts to choose to improve their mental health, their physical health, and to embrace a spiritual component of their recovery (SAMHSA, 2011). This multi-system approach has ROSC counselors encouraging visits to the general practitioner, the OBGyn and the dentist. They assess for co-occurring disorders and embrace one-on-one therapeutic treatment and group therapy. And ROSC practitioners embrace mutual support programs, such as AA, NA or even nontraditional mutual support groups like SOS, or Women for Sobriety. A spiritual program is also encouraged. Lastly, the newest introduction to the treatment field is the recovery coach.

As mental health and addiction treatment services are adopting this recovery-oriented approach, the emphasis on incorporating various forms of recovery coaching or peer-based recovery support into treatment services is growing rapidly. Peer-based recovery support services are defined as

“the process of giving and receiving nonprofessional, nonclinical assistance to achieve long-term recovery from mental health and substance use disorders” (Borkman, 1999)

This support is provided by “peers,” “peer-recovery support specialists,” “recovery coaches,” “peer mentors,” or “peer support specialists” who have lived and experienced personal recovery (Borkman, 1999). The peers assist others in initiating, maintaining and embracing recovery from their mental health or substance use disorders.

As recovery coaches and peers begin to infiltrate treatment centers and recovery support, community organizations, there is a needling question that arises: are recovery coaches effective in the recovery process?

Studies have been completed on the effectiveness of recovery coaches aiding in individuals achieving long-term recovery since 2005. Many were small studies, some were not exactly scientific, nor could other studies stand up to researcher’s scrutiny. None of the studies had the critical mass to come to a clear conclusion. Ellen L. Bassuk, M.D., Justine Hanson, Ph.D., R. Neil Greene, M.A., Molly Richard, B.A., and Alexandre Laudet, PhD began examining the 1,221 studies that analyze the effectiveness of peer-delivered, recovery support services for individuals in recovery. They wrote a systematic review called Peer Delivered Recovery Support Services for Addictions in the United States: A Systematic Review.

This compilation of all the current studies is to create an appraisal, and summarization of the success of peer-delivered, recovery support services, using strict scientific criteria. As part of their review process, the 1,221 studies were screened, but only nine studies were deemed to meet the strict review requirements.

The nine studies examined the effectiveness of recovery support services that were delivered by a peer using a wide range of interventions and models. These studies also examined the variety of locations that offered peer support, including peer-run, drop-in centers (Ja et al., 2009), peer-run, recovery community organizations (Kamon & Turner, 2013), and Veteran’s Administration medical outpatient clinics (Bernstein et al., 2005).

This review showed peer-delivered recovery support services accomplished the following successful outcomes:

  1. Decreased alcohol use
  2. Decreased drinking to intoxication by reducing the odds of drinking to intoxication by 2.9 percent (Smelson et al. 2013)
  3. Peer participation lowered re-hospitalization rates, meaning only 62 percent of participants from the peer based support group were re-hospitalized compared to 73 percent of those not receiving peer based support (Min et al. (2007)
  4. Increased post-discharge sobriety time was achieved by the individuals receiving the peer intervention (O’Connell et al. 2014)
  5. If peers led groups in life-skills training, those participants had 14.8 fewer days drinking
  6. Peer recovery support affected those discharged from inpatient treatment by maintaining a post-discharge sobriety rate of 43 percent to 48 percent as compared to 33 percent sobriety for those not receiving peer based support (Tracy et al. 2011)

Overall, the review of these studies indicate that peers involved in recovery support interventions have beneficial effects on participants. While the reviewers can conclude that there is evidence supporting the effectiveness of peer-delivered, recovery support services, they acknowledge that additional research is necessary to determine the usefulness of peer support services. While this knowledge is encouraging, research in this area is just emerging, and there is a strong need to improve outcomes by completing future studies.

References

  1. Humphreys, K., & Tucker, J. (2002). Toward more responsive and effective intervention systems for alcohol-related problems. Addiction, 97(2), 126–132.
  2. Institute of Medicine (2005). Improving the quality of health care for mental and substance use conditions. Washington, DC: National Academy Press.
  3. McLellan, A. T., Lewis, D. C., O’Brien, C. P., & Kleber, H. D. (2000). Drug dependence, a chronic medical illness: Implications for treatment, insurance, and outcomes evaluation. JAMA, 284(13), 1689–1695.
  4. White, W., Boyle, M., Loveland, D., & Corrington, P. (2005). What is behavioral health recovery management? A brief primer. (Retrieved from www.addictionmanagement.org/recovery%20management.pdf).
  5. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) (2011). SAMHSA’s Working Definition of Recovery. (Retrieved from http://www.samhsa.gov/recovery/).
  6. Borkman, T. (1999). Understanding self-help/mutual aid: Experiential learning in the commons. New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers University Press
  7. Borkman, T. (1999). Understanding self-help/mutual aid: Experiential learning in the commons. New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers University Press
  8. Ja, D. Y., Gee, M., Savolainen, J.,Wu, S., & Forghani, S. (2009). Peers Reaching Out Supporting Peers to Embrace Recovery (PROPSPER): A final evaluation report. San Francisco, CA: DYJ, Inc. for Walden House, Inc. and the Center for Substance Abuse Treatment, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (Retrieved from http://www.dyja./com/sites/default/files/u24/PROSPER%20Final%20Evaluation%20Report.pdf).
  9. Kamon, J., & Turner,W. (2013). Recovery coaching in recovery centers: What the initial data suggest: A brief report from the Vermont Recovery Network. Montpelier, Vermont Evidence-Based Solutions (Retrieved form https://vtrecoverynetwork.org/PDF/VRN_RC_eval_report.pdf).
  10. Bernstein, E., Bernstein, J., Tassiopoulos, K., Heeren, T., Levenson, S., & Hingson, R. (2005). Brief motivational intervention at a clinic visit reduces cocaine and heroin use. Drug and Alcohol Dependence, 77, 49–59
  11. Smelson, D. A., Kline, A., Kuhn, J., Rodrigues, S., O’Connor, K., Fisher, W. Kane, V. (2013). A wraparound treatment engagement intervention for homeless veterans with co-occurring disorders. Psychological Services, 10(2), 161–167.
  12. Min, S. Y., Whitecraft, E., Rothbard, A. B., & Salzer, M. S. (2007). Peer support for persons with co-occurring disorders and community tenure: A survival analysis. Psychiatric Rehabilitation Journal, 30(3), 207–213. http://dx.doi.org/10.2975/30.3.2007.207.213.
  13. O’Connell, M. J., Flanagan, E., Delphin, M., & Davidson, L. (2014). Enhancing outcomes for persons with co-occurring disorders through skills training and peer recovery supports. Unpublished manuscript.
  14. Tracy, K., Burton, M., Nich, C., & Rounsaville, B. (2011). Utilizing peer mentorship to engage high recidivism substance-abusing patients in treatment. The American Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse, 37(6), 525–531
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